The Perfect Political Speech

Posted by ptheibert on February 23, 2009 at 7:39 PM

I have written speeches for Presidential  candidates, congressmen, governors,  and CEOs  It is an interesting job and based on my 20 years of experience, I think we need a format that every politician  and CEO must follow. In honor of President Truman, I call it the Plain Speaking Template. Here it is:



That famous philosopher, Yogi Berra, once, during Photo Day at Yankee Stadium, offered his team this advice – “Everyone line up alphabetically by height.”  Of course there was confusion.  I am committed to eliminating confusion by stating clearly what our new program ( insert name of program) will accomplish. It is designed to accomplish these key objectives.


v      Objective One


v      Objective Two


v      Objective Three


v       Objective Four


When  Robert Fulton introduced the steamboat, people were lined up on shore and as the steamboat huffed and puffed and cranked and cranked, trying to start, the skeptics yelled, “ It will never start, it will never start…”


To their surprise the steamboat started slowly upriver and the skeptics shouted, “ It will never stop, it will never stop….”


My new program, ______, is viewed with skepticism by many critics. But  to make it work, we will take the following steps.


v      Step One


v      Step Two


v      Step Three


v       Step Four


Once a little girl in Sunday school was drawing a picture. The teachers asked her what she was drawing. The little girl said “ A picture of God.” The teacher said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” The little girl said. “They will now.”


In the same vein, how will we know what success will look like? How will we know when it is time to make corrections in our program?


We have established key ways to monitor and measure each step of the program. We will measure the success or failure of this program by putting these measurement steps in place:


v      Measurement One


v      Measurement Two


v      Measurement Three


v      Measurement Four


Frank Lloyd Wright said, “ I know the price of success,  dedication, hard work and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.”


I am dedicated to seeing this program achieve these specific goals:


v      Goal One


v      Goal Two


v      Goal Three


v       Goal Four


These goals will be reached by _____________. The program will cost ______________. It will be paid for by ____________.


Finally a schoolboy wrote about Socrates – “Socrates was a man who went around giving advice and they poisoned him.”


I  am dedicated to more than lip service. I am dedicated to seeing this program succeed. Every good product comes with a money–back guarantee. Of course I can’t guarantee you will get your money back, every program has the risk of failing. We must accept that. But if this program fails, if I have wasted or cost you money in anyway, I will resign by _____________.


Thank you




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Reply Christina
10:33 PM on February 23, 2009 
Well its nice to see that some people still want to help the little guy when times are tough. In todays world there are so many rules about how to write professionals are a great asset to have on your side! Thanks Phil!
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